Our Baby Emmanuel's Birthday and Death Day

Our precious baby Emmanuel would have been (4) yrs old today. On this day, I take time to remember where I was four years ago, let me give you a visual - In a hospital bed, surrounded by family and friends, playing soft christian music in the background, surrounded by prayers and by God's presence. This was the day the Lord had made and I had a choice to bury my sorrows deep within or to rejoice in the Lord for this was the day that HE had made. I chose to rejoice in the Lord. This was the day that I had to give birth to our stillborn son Emmanuel DeJesus Bosch. The Lord carries me through this very difficult time in my life. He was the source of my strength. Did my faith shake alittle during this time? It absolutely did - but never did I take my eyes off of my savior, NEVER ! I cried my self to sleep endless times, I lived sometime in a cloud, not knowing whether I was coming or going. My relationship at home with my hubbie staggered abit during this trial - but it was in the desolation time of my life where I can say that I have felt the closest to the Lord.

My pregnancy with baby emmanuel was unbelievable, I knew his little personality even though he was in my womb. This little boy taught me so many things, he taught me that life is a precious gift and that everytime I can feel my heart beat - to thank the good Lord above because he is the life giver. This little boy taught our family strength, endurance and perserveance. He taught me compassion for special need children all over the world. He left this world to be with Jesus but he also reminded me while he was gone that we will be together again someday. He gave me a bond with him that could never be broken and one that will always remain very close in my heart.

I will end this post with a very special poem that was shared with me by my sister: This poem speaks volumes to my precious baby Emmanuel.

I love you baby Emmanuel and I honor you everyday of my life, especially today August 5, 2007.

We are connected, My child and I, by an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth, This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.
This cord does its work right from the start. It binds us together, attatched to my heart.
I know that it's there, though no one can see, The invisible cord from my child to me.
The strength of this cord is hard to describe. It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any man could create, It withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone, Though you are not here with me,
The cord is still there, but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline, as never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way,
A mother and child--Death can't take it away!~

Author unknown