The birth of Baby Emmanuel

My journal between the time that I got pregnant thru invitro-fertilization and the present is quite an amazing story. Please note that I will be very honest in all of my journaling, the only reason why I chose to tell my story over and over again is to give God all the honor and glory for what he has done in our lives and also because it is in telling my story that I can continue to recieve his mercy and healings from the heavens above. So here we go again .....

During the entire complications, as I mentioned before we were in and out of specialist. Well July 2003 I was already close to 7mths pregnant. Our baby was very active and I felt him moving almost all the time. He had his own little personality that I his momma already knew., Oh how I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life with this little one. But in the later part of the month of July, I remember Herb was having knee surgery in the hospital, and his mom and my mom were with me waiting for Herb to come out of surgery. I started to feel concerned because I was not feeling the baby as much as he should have been moving. I mentioned this to my mom and my mother in law and we laughed it off as if maybe he was just tired. Well, this day was on a Wednesday, on Friday we were scheduled to go to the East Coast. It was my sister's 40th birthday weekend. I figured since we would be in Miami, and the better doctor's are over there, I would make an appointment to meet with a set of specialist and get a second opinion on all of our complications. Well the people that went with us was my sister, my mother in law, my hubby Herb and of course my self. I remember this day like it was yesterday. After waiting a while they finally called us into the room, they were getting me ready to do an ultrasound and they did. Well then, those words that no pregnant woman ever wants to hear came out of this nurse's mouth and it sounded something like this. "I'm sorry mam, I don't hear your baby's heartbeat", and as mystical as this may sound, it seemed like the moment had just gone into very SLOW, SLOW motion, I faintly heard the cries coming from my mother in law, my sister's eyes swelled up (poor thing) and my hubby's face was like "what a horror!- and he had turned white". BUT YET, this amazing feeling of peace, covered my entire being. I can't quite say the human feeling that I felt but I did know that the good Lord was with me, because the peace that I was annointed with that very moment was not a man made feeling. The nurse just kept saying "I am sorry, I am so sorry". and I just keep saying it's ok, it will all be ok and I knew that my mission was to make sure that everyone else can feel what I was feeling at the time. That incredible sense of peace flowing from the balconies of heaven.

Well while all of this was going on, we got in the car and I called my doctor in Ft Myers, to let him know what had happened and he asked me how I felt and I told him that I was ok and he said well you can either come back to Ft Myers and we can handle this now or you can wait for the weekend to be over and come to our offices on Monday 1st thing in the morning. He also advised to do this if I was feeling ok and I pretty much did feel ok ( but the real reason was that I had planned a 40th surprise party for my sister the following day and I did not want to cancel this party because of the circumstances that were occuring). I then called my mom who at the time lived in the east coast to let her know what had just happened as well. I said please call some of your prayer warriors and ask them if they can come to your house and pray over me some time tonight. And as all prayer warriors act, shortly after getting to their house they were all there waiting for me to just sit with me and pray. The presence of the Holy Spririt was sooo intense that I honestly felt that everything was going to be ok. Well, all of this occured on Friday, we had my sister's surprise party on saturday and I danced and sang like there was no tommorrow, we had alot of fun at her party and then sunday came and went. I remember laying in bed with my hubby and telling him Next Friday will be here sooner than we think. (Not that anything special was going on next Friday but it was just a time thing, that everything will soon pass).

On Sunday afternoon, we (literraly the entire family) began to head west bound towards Ft Myers, we had the appointment with my doctor in the morning at 9:00am. I remember driving to the hospital with 3 cars behind us and walking towards the hospital, it felt like God's Army was about to take over and indeed we did. Herb and I went in to see the doctor and they too did an ultrasound and they too confirmed that our baby had died. I asked the doctor, " ok then, what do we do now?" Well, there was not much of an option, we had to get the baby out from inside me almost immediately because then my health could be jeopardized. We waitied for a few minutes until they could get me a room in the maternity ward and off we were to deliver this little guy. Later on, I was told that they put me in a room all the way in the back away from other women giving birth because they did not want me to hear the cries of other babies being born. I remember asking a friend of mine if she had any Cristian CD's in her car and she said she did - the hospital accomodated us with a CD player and during the whole time we were playing Christian music and praising and worshiping our GREAT GOD. Words would not justify what took place that day in the hospital but what I do know is that I got a glimpse of what heaven will be like some day and it was just like that. My family and friends, that were there that day were the angels in disguise singing with me and praising our GOD like they do in heaven.

During the time that I had to give birth to our precious angel Baby Emmanuel - I felt the most amazing peace that I knew deep down in my heart was something that was not man made, the feelings that I was going thru, was coming from a divine source, a source that I have come to know in a very deep way, a spiritual way. Our God has been that divine power and light that has continued to move me to where I stand right now in my life and for that trial, I am so grateful. I am grateful that God used my body and baby Emmanuel to do great things in our life thereafter. Many lives were touched and there is no doubt that in itself was it's mission.